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One of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 29:11; "I know the thoughts I have toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” After losing two people very close to me in the last four months, these were the only words that seemed to be able to comfort me. The pain of the loss seemed to "cut so deep” I felt like I was dying inside. But God whispered to me, "I know”. He reminded me that loss and grief are a part of life’s plan; a part of God’s expected end.
Grief can be defined by any event that causes distress. Death is not the only life experience that can cause grief. The losses of a home or your job, a divorce or illness are all grievous tasks to deal with. Yet the loss of a loved one seems to have the greatest impact. Let’s look at how the loss of Lazarus affected the lives of those who loved him.[1]
Lazarus, Mary, Martha and Jesus were friends. He loved them. I would imagine that they quality time together, it is documented scripture that it was Mary who anointed the feet of Jesus. When Mary’s brother Lazarus was sick, the sisters sent a message to Jesus saying, "Lord, the one you love is sick”[2]. When Jesus heard this, he said, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that son of God might be glorified.” [3] You see, Jesus knew the expected end. He knew that the loss of Lazarus and the grieving process had to take place in order for all to see the work of God’s hands.
When Jesus arrived four days after the death of Lazarus, Martha who was distraught and grieving greeted him, yet her faith in God remained. Then Jesus asked for Mary who was home being comforted by friends. When Mary heard the call of the Lord, she quickly went to him, fell at his feet, and wept. When Jesus saw her weeping he was deeply moved, his spirit was troubled, and He wept. This powerful story culminates with the glorious resurrection of Lazarus and concludes with a celebration in Jesus’ honor.
There are many lessons to be learned from this story, the greatest is: Once you have accepted the reality of the loss you can begin the process of healing; the process of good grief.
The following are practical steps that can help you overcome grief and move forward to victory.
1. Trust the sovereignty of God. Have faith in the ultimate plan of God for your life.
2. Give yourself time to grieve. Be patient with yourself and others around you. Get plenty of rest so that God can restore you.
3. Seek the support of family and friends or professional help if needed. During this time, it is important to surround yourself with people who will build you up. Remove yourself from those who tell you, "To get over it”.
4. Let your loss move from solitude to ministry. After you have spent your time away ask God what does he want you to learn from the experience and how can your loss help others.
[1]John 11:1-44; 12:1-3
[2]John 11: 3
[3]John11: 4
[4]Psalm 30:5